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| Ah, sweet love and surrender. 
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| Some of you out there know exactly how I feel. Ya know, I despise frustration but I think it is a blessing-in-disguise if it can drive me closer to Christ.
Yesterday I had a bad headache and took some Excedrin Migraine around 8pm. Of course, Excedrin doesn't just have aspirin in it, but caffeine. So... after taking it at 8pm, I was wide awake for a good portion of the night.
I spent some of this time simply relaxing in the living room, enjoying watching our new cats play. Then I decided to go "chew" on some 1 Corinthians. ...I was convicted over several issues. I think I started in chapter 4 for some reason... dunno 
Ya know... I don't even know where to start. Last night I was humbled, and I think even... "quieted" by some of the verses I read... I'm not sure how to explain that, but I did experience a calming while at the same time being convicted.
Not sure what that means... so where does that leave me?
The first verse that hit me was 1 Corinthians 4:6.
"Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other." (NASB)
The part that stood out to me was "learn not to exceed what is written"... the issue of the authority of Scripture played through my mind and I was reminded that there are some who'd say, "you don't have to follow the Bible as long as you're truly sure in your heart of what to do." And I'm always like... ok what is the basis for that belief? We are accused as believers of having some kind of "blind faith"... but then these strange secular ideas come at us with no apparent rationality behind them. This confuses me 
Another issue that struck me was the idea of judging... and even just in this moment something else connected.
1 Corinthians 6:1-6 (NASB)
1 Does any one of you, when he has a case against his neighbor, dare to go to law before the unrighteous and not before the saints?
2 Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? If the world is judged by you, are you not competent to constitute the smallest law courts?
3 Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more matters of this life?
4 So if you have law courts dealing with matters of this life, do you appoint them as judges who are of no account in the church?
5 I say this to your shame. Is it so, that there is not among you one wise man who will be able to decide between his brethren,
6 but brother goes to law with brother, and that before unbelievers?
Paul makes so many good points here... I was hit by this. And then today I thought, what would actually become if we simply judged each other in accordance with Scripture? A believer judging another believer is Scriptural... what would it look like? Well, elsewhere Scripture tells us to "let your gentleness be evident to all" and of course to be considerate of each other. In that light, I think I'd rather be judged by fellow believers who have my best interest in mind and the interest of the gospel.
I learned many other things by reading through most of 1 Corinthians last night... it amazes me, I've read through the book a number of times, but each time I return to it I get something new, like reading it for the first time. Pretty amazing I think.
Ya know what? I'm slow. Heh... I think I was in college by the time I realized that the *reason* our Bibles are often leather-bound is to keep them from showing wear as quickly... because hey, paper back books that are read and referenced often and over and over get beat up pretty quickly... especially if they are carried everywhere and taken with a person all the time. Even a hardcover book will start falling apart after enough time... but the leather seems to help slow that process... heh. (one of those "good job Sherlock" moments, eh?)
And then I think of all the beautiful leather-bound Bibles sitting in people's homes... still looking beautiful... rarely touched  I want to break out of that pattern. I confess that weeks go by where I do not pick up my Bible and read it. I hate this practice... why do I allow that, when I enjoy reading it so much? Last night was like a feast, spiritually. I got SO MUCH out of just 1 Corinthians! That's just one book! I felt good and content going to bed. And convicted... somehow.
Yummy boiled eggs
I'm frustrated at a number of things right now. Ideas, and people. I guess I'm being humbled, because I've decided (against my stronger desire) to step out of some discussions because I feel they aren't going anywhere productive. Yup, it's against the desire of my ego... but I think that's exactly the point here. I could stick around and argue my point... but it has become clear to me that the people who are against me are not really looking to learn from the Word, but it seems like the objective is to justify choices. *sigh*
Jesus, return soon. *cries a little* | | |
| There are things bothering me.
The believers reading this might know what I'm talking about... this new breed of christian (?) that follows a belief that if you really truly believe all of the Bible, you are a stifled, closed-minded individual.
It makes me wonder... how so? I don't think God put any of those words there by accident, or didn't mean some of them. Yes, we live under the covenant of grace now, not bound by all the Levitical laws... but the idea of "we need to think outside the Bible... it's becoming outdated and so many things just don't apply anymore." I'd like to know how we discern which ideas do and do not belong in today's Church. Cuz usually, the answer seems to simply be "follow your heart" which of course leads different people differently... so that's certainly not a standard. But the verse that comes to my mind when I hear/read these types of statements is, "...showing tolerance for one another in love..." from Ephesians 4. I know that by no means am I to just accept these teachings as right or true, but that doesn't excuse me from loving the *people*. I'm learning that there is a huge difference between caring for a person and accepting an idea.
-God loves all people, but He does not approve of all their behaviors.
There are so many thoughts that come from this concept... and honestly I am just not awake enough to even think about articulating them. Ugh. It's 10:35pm... I gotta get up at 5 and I have not been sleeping well lately. Maybe it's the changing weather. I don't know.
Basically... I'm trying to spend more time in the Gospels lately. I've been convicted that I can't really call myself a follower of Christ if I don't know much about the person Himself. So, other projects are getting less time and more time will *hopefully* be spent getting to know my Lord from His own Word 
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| Wow... today I turn 23. Sheesh. I feel old. I'm the youngest tech at work, which has its pros and cons I guess.
There are a few situations I don't know how to handle. I'm struggling with how to help a couple of people in financial need... I don't know how much to give, how often to give, and in one case even *if* to give. I dunno.
But in the case that I'm not sure whether or not to give, it is not because I don't want to help, it is because this situation is not one where the person is a victim of circumstance. This is a case where bad choices were made and they logically led to a bad outcome. So do I step in and help lift 'em out? I could. I want to. But what about when the bad choices made have not been repented from? Whenever I think about that, a certain verse comes to mind:
Romans 2:4 (NIV)
"...do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and
patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?"
...Now I have to ask myself, why *wouldn't* I help? Christ loved me enough to die for me while I was in sin... and as I think about it, He offers the sacrifice even to those who will never repent. Sheesh, if Christ can offer His own life for the unrepentant, surely I can offer a bit of financial assistance! So I guess that means I can help out. I am curious, would you?
In the other case, I know that there is need and I know that this need is not a product of bad choices. In this situation, I don't know *how much* to give, but I do know the need is great. Yes, every little bit helps... and I'm trying to look at it that way. When I received the message about this need, they were basically asking for help from whoever was financially able. I know they are not asking people who are themselves struggling to sacrifice. But I know that I am not in that group. I am in the "financially able" group. We're not rich by any means, but we budget well enough that I know we could manage to give a small gift. I *want* to give a fairly generous amount... well, I consider it a generous amount... people with higher incomes and who have been working longer probably wouldn't, but it's a lot to me. Hubby is pretty agreeable to this... so that's helpful.
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| I think I need some help.
I got this new devotional: Daily in Christ by Neil and Joanne Anderson... and one of the devotionals has already confused me. (For anyone who actually has this book, it's the March 13th one).
Part of the devotional asks the question, "How can I know if what I believe is right?" then it says, "...God has designed us in such a way that we can know on a regular basis if our belief system is properly aligned with God's truth. God has established a feedback system which is designed to grab your attention so you can examine the validity of your goal. That system is your emotions. ..."
It goes on to explain it a bit, but I kinda got the impression that I was supposed to gauge truth with my emotions... and I've come to understand that to be a very dangerous path. Emotions change, God's Word doesn't... then I looked a bit closer and thought that maybe they're using the words "belief system" a bit loosely here, and in this particular book "belief system" can be simply a short term goal, like getting a certain job. Hm.
If any fellow believers could stop by a Christian bookstore and just look at the book and read that day's devotional (it's just one page) and tell me what u think... that'd be very much appreciated!!
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